lundi 26 juillet 2010

российские девочки - ruskie devushki - et tout ce qui en découle.

The russian girls, and all the things that follow.

First, I know full well it’s always quite complicated to talk about people from somewhere in the world. There will always be a group of them blaming you for saying this and this, accusing you of not knowing the country. There will always be some people ready to bang their heads on walls for their origins. I think it is ridiculous, but in a way I understand them when reading some articles about their nation written by people who allow themselves to say huge and nasty things, knowing very few about it. All this to tell you I’m not going to shock anyone, I will try to remain careful and delicate with the Russian ladies.

Why do I write this article ? For when you get a little interested in Russia, that you have to face these women, it is impossible not to really reflect about it (particularly when the boyfriend is right among them).

The stereotypes we have in Europe, again please no wrath, because it’s reality : beautiful girls, sexy, almost vulgar, prostitutes, but also models, girls of an ethereal beauty, with cristal eyes (I type “filles russes” (“Russian girls” in French) on google and the first suggested website is a pornographic one).

But first, an important thing to understand is what kind of women are the French women, for you to understand to which point the difference is huge. The French women speak their mind, practice irony and self-mokery, mix with guys, hang out with them, smoke with them, and at the same time have a cute thing, behaviour, a bit candid that I never felt in other women from abroad. In France women dress very soberly, hardly use UV, are way more natural than Russian girls or any other girls from abroad. I hear very often from guys who are not French (and sometimes French guys) “I don’t understand why the place for high fashion is France, French girls in the street are so ugly, totally not sexy and elegant. “. Well these guys only saw girls from their schools, or from their Erasmus promo, and it’s true some girls there are not what I would call sexy or elegant. They should go to city centers of big French cities, or in Paris by night, and maybe they would see what is French elegance. But then again, they would find (they will !I’m sure) French girls disappointing. Why ? Because the French fashion is special, original and very modest at the same time…..a real elegance, not something too flashy, showy. Definitely not a mini micro blood-red skirt and 20centimeters heels. I say things like ‘real elegance’ but I am not even like them, I don’t belong to this French elite, it is just to defend my country, for once. And guys from abroad don’t understand this peculiar French style because they are not used to it. They think that good and elegant women should be….well I don’t know. The problem is that I saw too many things, I don’t know what to think anymore, what is right. I wanna precise Only French girls are like that….irish, English, finnish, Russian girls are very sexy and classy. The thing which is wrong with them is that it is too obvious in their behaviour, their attitude, their eyes they wanna appeal so much to guys, they seem to only live for this aim. I know this ‘seeming’ is not true, a girl needs to feel beautiful to be confident, to be in a good mood, whatever nationality. But think twice of the French girls ‘s style and the fact France is the country of high fashion. It seems to me that it is not because of the girls there but because of the French (and Italian….don’t forget this great country which share similarities with us) men who are poets, visionaries, artists, dreamers and lovers of beautiful things.

Now you’re gonna tell me who is the damn muse. Who are the muses ? Russian girls ?

I would like to tell you “yes, they are the new muses of the world”, because they appear in so much fashion brand ads. But the Russian girl of high fashion is a dream, a fantasy. It does not correspond to the reality : the Russian girls in Russia.

Are they really beautiful ? Do they all have long legs, golden hair, high and prominent cheekbones, pulpy lips and porcelain skin ? No they aren’t, not all of them. Actually there are lots of kinds of beauty in Russia. A lot of girls are brunettes and brown-eyed, with round cheeks, and smile of a child. Some of them have origins from Uzbekistan, Georgia, Armenia. It also depends on where they live in Russia. I guess there are more blonds in St Petersburg than in the very south. But well they are not all models. I would like to tell the world there is not one country where you can find the most beautiful girls, it is totally impossible, stupid and mean to say that. Some French girls are gorgeous, some Spanish girls as well, not talking about Italians, Swedish, Mexicans, Japanese, or ethiopians. I would like people not to believe Frederic Beigbeder in his book “au secours pardon”. Do not be so jealous of Russian girls.

What I can say is that there are lots of cute girls – not insanely beautiful, but cute girls in Russia.

When I was in Russia, my boyfriend would tell me a lot of girls in the streets and shops were looking at me from head to toes. To understand better Russian girls (to understand one part….I know what I’m gonna say is just a surface) one should register to a website called It is actually very similar to facebook : the colours, the design, the website itself, but only Russians and Ukrainians are there. You will see that the Russian girls are always very sexy on the pictures, with the back arched the most possible, and they make so so so many pictures of them, with different poses…..they actually want to be the most beautiful possible, for them, to attract guys, both ? I don’t know. I sometimes think they do that to rapidly find a boyfriend and then a husband, in order to have money and kids, fast fast. In Russia, when you’re not married with children at age 25, it is considered as strange, even if things are changing more and more.

How do I recognize Russian girls abroad ? They dress in a more sophisticated way than others, or in a vulgar way, they have high heels, they don’t smile, they often put too much make up and they often hold a bunch of flowers. Sorry for this odd and somewhat negative painting but that’s how it is and I very rarely mistake! They often have a nice body, more than the face. I saw so many pictures of girls with mini shorts/mini skirts, low-waisted, with a very plate and tanned belly, like you only see on photoshopped pictures…but there is reality. Is slimness genetical in Russia or do they starve themselves and practice a lot of sports in order to be like that ?

Some girls – normal girls – not prostitutes – but where is the frontier there, tell me ? – don’t hesitate to put pictures of them naked or almost naked on vkontakte to attract guys. The first thing any French girl would say in front of that would be ‘dirty whores, gosh, how dirty they are...” ….I would like to analyse this reaction. Who of the two is right ? Is it right to be sexy/almost naked to attract guys ? Is it right to think girls should not do this ? Is it right to criticize those who do it ? I don’t want to appear as the angry jealous European girl in front of all these burning Russians. I think I’m not, I’m only sometimes worried because my boyfriend is surrounded by them (I also have to assume to have chosen a Russian one….for me it’s funny when I hear French girls saying “fed up with all those bitches” talking about other French girls a little bit crazier and prettier than them…they didn’t see what ‘s going on in the East !)

By the way, I really want to say too that not ALL Russian girls correspond to my description. Some of them are more discreet, less superficial, I don’t know how to say…more like European. Some of them are really great girls, artists, clever, with a nice heart and a good style.

I actually noticed that over there, in Russia, men are with men, and women are with women, I mean, they like to stay among persons of the same sex. I was one day in a kind of fast-food, and all guys decided to go outside to smoke, meanwhile the girls (none of them smoking) would be staying inside. Well, for the moment it’s ok. But I had a conversation with these girls and they all told me it was normal for guys to smoke and to be together while smoking, and that it was considered as very vulgar and simply- a bad thing for a girl to go out and smoke with them. I did not really go further in the conversation but I was a bit shocked. One of the arguments of the girls was that smoking is bad for health… they don’t care about their boyfriend’s health maybe.

This kind of separation between the two sexes, which I have to say is a little retrogressive, helped them (men, and women) to build a huge solidarity in each one of their groups. The Russian men’s friendship and faithfulness are one of the highest I’ve ever seen. The Russian women’s solidarity and direct complicity (even if they don’t really know each other) is huge compared to what you can see in Europe. They can look so cold but then, in any party or meeting, the Russian girls will smile at you, for nothing, talk to you very nicely, naturally lead you to speak about intimate things…of course it depends on the context but they can become very kind, with eyes sparkling, mouth smiling, as if the thing was : “ok you are a stranger, but you’re a girl, and I’ m also one, we understand each other” This behaviour is very uncommon in Europe, believe me. Maybe less in southern Europe than in northern, I admit. Well, maybe I am being naïve, sometimes I wonder if it’s not hypocrisy.

The men, at first sight, seem to be nicer than the girls. They smile, laugh, drink more easily than the girls who remain serious and want to keep their sexy/femme fatale carapace.

The girls will never ever complain about something when they are in a relationship. They will admit very rarely their jealousy. They will always cook for their boyfriend. They are like lovely dolls, but maybe manipulating guys by behind. I know, as a French girl, I could never remain of marble like these girls. If I’m angry I need to scream right at the moment and tell all the truth. Feminism is well set in Europe…..but again, I wonder what all this mean. Girls for me have to remain what they are – girls, but not excessively…not being the slaves – dolls of men.

I actually like the fact they make a lot of photos of them(even if some are too ridiculous), I think it’s a cool, funny thing. In our modern society, every girl has the possibility to feel more beautiful, to prove herself she can be pretty, every girl need it to feel good…at least it is what I think…I agree with myself. The photos and the classy/sexy clothes and attitude is also cool to me (almost impossible thing to do in miniskirt leads you to have a reputation of silly bitch, unless it’s summer time). But I do not think the naked pictures, the girls touching their boobs on their photos, the girls betting everything on sex to interest others are right. On the contrary, it is totally stupid. Maybe guys like it (normal) but what would you think of your daughter doing that ? your sister ? your mother…? And if all the girls were doing that ?

Sex would dominate the world. And if sex dominates the world, love would surely die. Because love is like putting a vale on sex, and being interested in it because you can’t get it with this special person. Sex would totally erase all feelings between men and women, only would remain animal pulsions. I know it’s a very fast and vague explanation of what can be love, I know it’s more complex than that, I know you can fall in love because you made love…..but well…..I think I’m right anyway….I love sex but I am sometimes very scared and feeling overwhelmed by it. Too much sex everywhere…..I read in an article that, according to real interviews of random Russian people, less than 50% of russians are in love nowadays.

What I can say as a conclusion, after this very messy article, is that I love Russian girls, I am anyway fascinated by Russian people. I want them to stay pretty, but I want them to speak their minds too…..and being less materialistic. I remember having read an article in the newspaper “20 minutes” delivered next to the metro in France. It was about the life of a French girl, and the life of an Ukrainian girl being compared – what they do, what they like, their personality. The French girl was described as a shy and discreet singer, having a boyfriend, fond of artistic things and dreaming of succeeding as a singer. The Ukrainian girl was described as an extravert, a girl fond of shopping, fond of sex, “I love sex” would she claim, and willing to have a huge carreer in international business. Well….lol…..I know the type of girl the french one is can be found among russians, and vice-versa…but to tell you the truth, I did not like reading this. It does not help me loving Russians, because, reading this, I have an impression of huge materialism which took the heart and mind of Russian girls. I didn’t say that loving sex and willing to have a huge carreer is a bad thing, but all these combined, the way it was written was an awful thing. Why being so materialistic ? I know it’s capitalism fault, that the girl’s parents had maybe nothing and she had suddenly all she wanted. Because it’s still a bit like survival over there maybe….they need to go fast, no time to loose, they don’t have time to think. They don’t take the time for it. That’s why for example, vegetarism is so unspread and misunderstood in Russia, as well as the idea of not killing poor animals for their fur…and so so so many things else. They still have to be nicely set, they still need some peaceful years maybe….

I wrote this article with only what I had, my thoughts, my experiences, what I heard, what I read…..and prasti if I said something not right. I don’t claim knowing everything about Russia and Russian girls.